How ADHD Can Look Different in Women—and Why It’s So Often Missed"

“I thought everyone felt this way.”

If you've ever wondered why you're always overwhelmed, always late, or constantly forgetting things—only to be told you're "too smart to have ADHD"—you’re not alone.

At The Serene Sanctuary, I work with many women who spent years thinking their struggles were a personal failing… when in reality, they were symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD.

For many women, ADHD doesn’t look like bouncing off the walls. It looks like perfectionism, anxiety, emotional overload, or chronic burnout.

Let’s talk about why so many women with ADHD go unnoticed—and what support can actually look like.

The Hidden Face of ADHD in Women

Most of us grew up hearing about ADHD as something that affects hyper little boys who can’t sit still. But that’s only part of the picture.

Women and girls are more likely to have inattentive ADHD, which means:

• Spacing out during conversations

• Struggling to follow through on tasks

• Forgetting deadlines, appointments, or simple instructions

• Being chronically disorganized—even when you’re trying so hard

• Starting things with energy but rarely finishing

• Losing track of your phone, water bottle, keys (again)

• Overthinking and mentally spiraling when overwhelmed

Because these symptoms are less obvious, they’re often mistaken for laziness, anxiety, or “just being scatterbrained.”

But this is not a personality flaw. It’s a real, neurodevelopmental condition that deserves real support.

Why ADHD Is So Often Missed in Women

ADHD in women often gets missed for three key reasons:

1. Masking

Women are socialized from a young age to “be good,” stay organized, and not cause trouble. So they learn to hide their struggles and overcompensate by trying harder, working longer, and people-pleasing.

2. Misdiagnosis

Instead of being diagnosed with ADHD, many women are labeled with anxiety, depression, or even borderline personality disorder. While these conditions can co-occur with ADHD, they don’t explain the full picture.

3. Late Diagnosis

Many women don’t realize they have ADHD until their 20s, 30s, or 40s—often after becoming overwhelmed by the increasing demands of work, parenting, or life transitions.

The result? Years of burnout, self-blame, and never feeling “good enough.”

Signs You May Have ADHD (That No One Told You About)

Do any of these sound familiar?

• You feel paralyzed by to-do lists, even when they’re simple

• You procrastinate until the last minute—then panic

• You zone out when people are talking, even if you care

• You get overwhelmed in loud or cluttered environments

• You constantly feel like you’re “behind” or letting people down

• You get stuck in hyperfocus mode and forget to eat, pee, or move

• You feel emotionally intense and sensitive, with fast mood swings

• You’ve been told you’re “too much” or “all over the place”

• You rely on caffeine, chaos, or crisis to get anything done

If so, you might be dealing with more than just stress.

ADHD + Burnout = A Vicious Cycle

When ADHD goes untreated, it often leads to burnout. Why?

Because you're working 3x harder to stay organized, stay focused, and hold everything together. And when your brain doesn’t cooperate, you start believing you're just lazy or broken.

Spoiler: You’re not.

Burnout is common for women with ADHD, especially those who’ve spent years masking, overcompensating, and pushing through.

Getting Support That Actually Works

At The Serene Sanctuary, ADHD care is about so much more than a prescription.

We’ll look at your full picture: your brain, your body, your stress levels, your cycles, your lifestyle, and your values.

Your care may include:

• Medication management that supports focus and emotional regulation

• Lifestyle strategies for managing overwhelm, sleep, and organization

• Coaching-style support to help you implement systems that work for your brain

• Exploring how hormones, burnout, or trauma may be affecting your symptoms

• Emotional validation and space to unlearn the shame you’ve been carrying

It’s time to stop white-knuckling your way through life.
You don’t have to figure this out alone.

You Deserve to Feel Focused, Calm, and Confident

If you’ve been silently struggling, always asking “What’s wrong with me?”—this may be the answer.

ADHD is real. It’s manageable. And with the right support, you can create a life that feels organized, balanced, and actually yours.

🌱 Schedule a free 15-minute consult to explore ADHD care in a safe, shame-free space.